The Way of the Ghazal: To suffer in silence

To suffer in silence is a persistent theme in the ghazal genre of Urdu poetry. The lover in its verses strives to keep the identity of his beloved obscure and hidden from the world. Even when the people close to the lover suspect by his demeanour that he is madly in love, he endeavours to keep the existence of his beloved under wraps. Though the lover in a ghazal constantly laments the indifference of the beloved, yet he is secretive about that diffident heartthrob. A faithful lover quietly endures pain, heartbreak and indignities or whatever comes his way, in the quest for his love. This strain of suffering in silence continues even when the lover is dictated by circumstances and society to accept the ultimate ill-fate, and lay down his life. A true lover, our Urdu poetry teaches, opts to willingly give his life with a smile on his face rather than scandalise the name of the beloved. Consider this verse by Qateel Shifai; Khud nu'mai to nahin shay'wa-a-ar'baab-e-wafa Jin ko jalna ho wo aa'raam sey jal jaa'tay hain "Ostentation doesn't befit the purveyors of fidelity Whosoever chooses to lay down his life, does so in obscurity" Here is another verse from the same ghazal; Sh'maa jis aag main jalti hai nu'maish key lee'ay Hum usi aag main gum'naam sey jal jaa'tay hain "The lamp flaunts its act of being scorched by a flame, We get incinerated in the same fire unheralded, unheard" Then there is this beautiful verse by Alamtaab Tashna where he declares self control as the essence of love and fidelity; Jo sambal sambal key bahak gaye, woh faraib khurda-e-rah they Wo ma'qaam-e-ishq ko paa gaye, jo bahak bahak key sambal gaye "Those who tread prudently before ceding indiscretion, live in hypocrisy They fathom the pinnacle of love, who stay firm on prudence even though tempted to indiscretion." Ghalib recognizes that the lover has to give his life rather than fall prey to the passions of desire; Aashqi sabr talab aur tamanna bay-taab Dil ka kia rang karoon, khoon-e-jigar ho'nay tak "Love demands patience, whereas desire is restless How should I hold my passion till my sorrows end my life." One aspect of this formulation of anonymity is the treatment of women in society. In certain areas of our land, women are routinely killed along with their paramour for an actual or a suspected love affair, or even for a marriage of choice. In parts of our society a love affair is considered a conquest by the boy, and he is accepted, even expected, to have liaison with girls of her age, or of any age. It is considered his right and a sign of his manhood or of his coming of age. In some households, and certainly in his social circles, the boy gets bragging rights for frolicking. He is considered brave and lucky for having wooed or conquered a girl. Same freedom, however, is not afforded to a girl. She is looked down upon for, what is considered to be, having succumbed to carnal desires. In a particular relationship, the boy is considered manly whereas the girl is perceived as immoral. As the identity of the beloved girl in this courtship would have lifelong adverse affects for her, it is gallant and honourable for the lover boy to keep the identification of that girl hidden from the society even at peril to his own life. This desire to safeguard the beloved takes to eerie levels when the lover takes care to keep his love hidden even from the object of his devotion. It becomes a one sided love affair where the boy grieves but keeps his desires secret from the girl of his desire. Ghalib thus expresses this sentiment in a most charming manner; Ham ney maana keh tghafal na karo gaye laikin Khak ho jaine gaye, hum tum ko khabar honey tak "I concede that you will not be indifferent to my sorrows, but I shall turn to dust before letting you know of my desire." Wajih Seema Irfani too expresses his surprise on the exposure of his quiet love; Main ney chup kar teri baatain ki theen jaanay kab jan lia mehfil ney "I whispered about you in solitude When did the gathering become aware?" The Persian influence on Urdu can be gauged by a verse of Hafiz Shirazi thus, a 14th century poet, expressing similar sentiments; آخر کشید بدنامی به کامی خود ز کارم همـه ها محفل سازند وا کز رازی آن ماند کی نـهان "I followed my own path of love, and now I am in bad repute How can a secret remain veiled, if it is on every tongue in the gathering?" Wajih continues in the next verse of the same ghazal; Dastaanain hain lab-e-alam per Hum to chup chap gaye they milnay "The tales are on the lips of the entire world I came to meet you in covertly." Kaifi Azmi narrates how the lovers communicate without uttering any words; Kuch dil ne kaha, Kuch bhi nahin Kuch dil ne suna, Kuch bhi nahin Aisay bi baatain hoti hain Aisay bi baatain hoti hain "Did my heart say anything? No! Nothing Did thy heart hear anything? No! Nothing. This is also a manner of conversing This too is a way of conversation." The ghazal matured as a form of poetry in the 18th and the 19th centuries. Due to the social taboos, the poets were all men. This established a tradition where the lover in these poems is invariably a boy whereas the beloved is the girl. It is only in the latter half of the 20th century that female poets surfaced and the trend changed. Ada jaffery, Fehmida Riaz and Parveen Shakir, the pioneers of women poets, openly expressed the female feelings on affection and sexuality. However, the mood of the women's poetry remained the same as that of their male counterparts with an agonizing longing for their lovers and grieving for their infidelity. Ghazal is an Arabic word meaning 'talking to women'. Before Iqbal extended the scope of the ghazal to include socio-political issues, a trend that was admirably continued by Faiz, Jalib and others, this kind of poetry was only limited to its literal meaning. The classic ghazal structure, as practiced by the great Urdu poets like Mir, Ghalib, Dagh, Zouq, Sauda and Faraz -to name a few- was restricted to addressing the beloved or talking about her. Some of the maestros were so stern about the purity of the form that they didn't accept the transgressions of Iqbal and refused to consider him a poet. The form of Urdu ghazal is such that the love for the Creator, characterized as the ultimate Truth, is very often indistinguishable from that of the human beloved. Most of the verses in a ghazal can be interpreted in either of these meanings. In both cases, the quest of the beloved is assumed to be futile as she will neither relent in her love nor will reveal herself. In this vein, Iqbal writes that; Kabhi aye haqeeqat-e-muntazir, nazar aa libas-e-mujaz main Keh hazaron sajday tarap rahay hain, meri jabeen-e-niaz main "Oh You! the awaiting Truth, reveal yourself in a tangible form. I hold eternal prostrations for you in my servile brow." Consider the following verse by Dagh Dehlvi, the last doyen of the old school of ghazal, where he complains about the teasing ways of his hidden lover. Khuub purda hai keh chilman sey lagaay baithaiy hain Saaf chuptay bhi nahin, samnay aatay bhi nahin "What a manner of hiding when she is sitting next to the curtain Neither is she hiding completely, nor is she revealing herself." In the East, a boy and a girl meet covertly without letting anyone suspect that they are doing so, even if it is for fleeting moments. The consequences of their escapade being discovered can be fatal for security of the lovers and for reputation of their families, especially for the girl's. The era of classic poetry in the 18th and 19th centuries had social norms where legally wedded husband and wife too avoided coming in contact with each other in public, even in the most innocent way. In that environment, physical contact between lovers was a social crime and had to be concealed under several layers. That norm was reflected in the poetry as well. The social traditions were so suffocating for the lovers that the Urdu poets would describe their craving for a meeting with their lovers in the most agonizing manner and yet describe the meetings themselves in the most esoteric styles and wordings. This is in sharp contrast to the West where lovers can indulge in public affection without fearing any adverse reprisals. Loving couples are commonly observed in deep necking and kissing in full view of others without displaying a bit of anxiety or embarrassment. Iqbal grieves on this hide and seek, though the verse is more for love of Creator rather than for the worldly lover; Tarb Ashnaye Kharosh Ho; Tu Nawa Hai, Mehram-e-Gosh Ho Woh Surood Kya Ke Chupa Huwa, Ho Sakoot-e-Parda-e-Saaz Mein "Let me hear the melody, let my ears get acquainted with your chant, What good is that tune that stays within the veils of silence." Ghalib is certain in the following verse that the price for his love is unending wait; Yeh na thi hmary qismat, keh visalay yar ho ta Agar aur jeetay rehtay, yehi intezar ho ta. "It was not in my fate to met my beloved Had I lived on, I would have suffered this same 'waiting'. Ghalib has no faith that his lover will ever break the barriers to fulfil the promises of love; Teray waa'day per jeeay hum, tau yeh jaan jhoot jaana Keh khushi sey mur na jaatay, agar ai'tbar ho ta 'If you think I was living on your promise, then you were misled 'I would have died of joy, if I had any faith in your sincerety' In the eastern thinking, love means suffering. Urdu poetry reflects love as a painful sensation i.e. arduous longing, distressing separations, social indignities, and severe heartbreaks. The lover must suffer all these predicaments in silence. In ghazal, the lover doesn't achieve a joyful consummation of desire. It is this depiction of silent agony that makes the appeal of ghazal so powerful. Urdu has little to be proud of in prose or other poetry forms. However, it is the allure of its heartrending ghazals that has made them a world class literary achievement. This article appeared in the weekly The Friday Times on 4th Jan 2019 Parvez Mahmood retired as a Group Captain from PAF and is now a software engineer. He lives in Islamabad and writes on historical and social issues. He can be reached at parvezmahmood53@gmail.com